Little girl all grown up

Petulantly pouting,

ready to stomp my feet,
throw myself on the floor and,
and scream-sob

...I DONT WANT TO...
NO, NO, NO!

Instead I act my age,
swallow my anger
and leave it bubbling under the surface,
breathe to relax,
stretch to unwind
my mind
from where it wishes
to where it is.
                                          

Loneliness,
where are you in my life
when I am never alone enough to appreciate company?
I visit and chat
show what is needed to be seen as me. 

When all is said and done,
my being
matters not in the presence of company
- it is the affected exterior
and how it is perceived
that draws attention
and if need be, it is held,
drawing from the encounter
whatever is required
...information,
experience,
physical contact
and
sadly...
it is mostly lacking.

little girl all grown up