Thoughts, topics of interest, points of view, stories and poetry. Some posts also feature my own photographs - here, as well as on the 'valleyguardians' blog. While I don't mind my material being used, I would ask the courtesy of acknowledgement by name or link. A thank you would then follow.

Thursday, 17 May 2012

How many chances do you get?

This question dates back to school when you were given only so many chances to get it right, to do the oral, hand in that essay etc. etc. ... and once the chances were used up you were disqualified, had to sit out or weren't allowed to participate any further.

In real life though, the answer to this question can have an extremely negative impact on actions such as decision making, acting under pressure or having to lead by example. Why? Because if you have adopted a fear of failure through years of 'only so many chances and you're out' conditioning, it can be near impossible to try new things or attempt better ways in which to do stuff.

Luckily there are parents, teachers, mentors and friends who can help when you find yourself in a 'last chance' situation but it becomes bleak indeed when you have no support, no one shouting for you or being in your corner.

The best remedy is of course to own each and every situation with the bottom line being - you get as many chances as you need to get it right! With this kind of approach, it certainly becomes irrelevant whatever the question may be, as an outcome is expected - unlike the 'last chance' scenario where the fear of failure can stop you from even trying.

It's a bit, I suppose, like finding yourself in a corner - you can be stuck and stay stuck, or own the situation and finding yourself in a corner, simply step out of and away from it - it is your corner after all.

A good friend of mine recently turned an old saying completely upside down. I grew up with - "if at first you don't succeed, try, try again ..." - with his interpretation of the same scenario being "if you don't even try, you can't even fail ..."

From this, it is obvious that the answer to the original question in the headline has to be that it is up to you. You can limit your own performance or decide to go at it until you get it right.

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